Well the tiredness continues... had a migraine by the time i left work and didnt' have the energy to go swimming. Didn't sleep particularly well, although i got to sleep by 1am but felt i was awake early, but not properly awake, just half-awake for ages....not resting properly. I don't think i'm more tired than i was on the progesterone, that was worse, but my motivation to get up and do stuff isworse... So i still stayed in bed most of Sunday. I'm losing motivation/will power to do anything. I feel like my life is slipping away from me slowly, even though my mood is still positive currently because i'm buying a flat! I just feel more 'withdrawn' and distant from the world/less interested/couldn't give a fuck anymore. I also feel more needy/texts to my support 'network' are getting longer&more frequent and more paranoid...
I've become very suspicious of people, even sometimes of people i trust. I feel like bad things could happen, out of good things, i'm worrying more. I'm more scared of relationships. I feel it's a downhill, slippery slope back to PMDD hell now. I regret coming off the hormone treatment already, except for the fact that my stomach does feel a lot better. But i'm wondering if that will be worth it and if i can take another month of moving closer to depression. I'm thinking of trying the contraceptive pill Yasmin, already. But part of me wonders if it was birth control that caused these mood disruptions in the first place, upset my body's natural balance
The last week (before my period) was ok, except I kept waking up early and sort of dozing, so never felt properly rested. It was a quiet week at work so no mood swings. Except for getting quite stressed and anxious over a mortgage application question. Im very tired. I have still been feeling sick and stomach slightly upset, but i put that down to slipping up and eating wheat/stuff i shouldn't, by accident. The sickness got worse the day before i was due. Also i felt really restless/disgusted in the UK politics/paranoid and tearful, and couldn't concentrate on studies that day. But by the evening i was feeling better, however i then developed a pain in my stomach and felt really sick after dinner. The paranoia got worse the few days before my period and went from just people i didn't like, to people i care about. :( I hate this disorder and not being able to talk about it, except here and the PMDD facebook group. How do you explain to someone that your hormones make you feel persecuted for two weeks every month? Typical response it disbelief or 'it's all in your head'. I know that but the feelings still bringing me down!
I've ordered some Maca powder, which is supposed to help balance hormones, i will keep you posted.
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