This month has been pretty awful (only the first one off progesterone). My period being a week and a half late didn't help. Even having an easy month at work didn't help, so i don't think stress is always a factor.
I have been pro-active and found some very good papers since i last researched PMS, ten years ago. These are definately worth reading:
The below link is a large study and well setup by sounds of it. It found that total oestrogen is the same between PMDD patients and controls but free E2 (oestrodiol) and %free E2 were lower and SHBG higher in PMDD subjects. This makes sense given oestrogen helps mood and oestrogen therapy successfully treated my PMDD for ten years.
http://jcem.endojournals.org/content/93/1/96.full
http://books.google.co.uk/books?id=00JbUu4lLsgC&pg=PA298&lpg=PA299&ots=nhLtAO3JF-&dq=serotonin+and+allopregnanolone&output=html_text
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3098121/?report=classic
Magnesium is still successfully treating my insomnia. It still takes an hour to get to sleep if i go to bed too late but if i got to bed when sleepy/just after taking it, i tend to drop off quickly. I also sleep more deeply on it :)
Started ok again and now it's evening i'm really f'ing depressed.... :( Don't know how to get rid of this feeling...I managed to drag myself out of bed, by making waffles and cheese which helped. Emptied washing machine and had a shower and then went to bed...
Period was a week and a half late, guess body was adjusting to being off hormones. Started getting moody week before. Had 4 days of cramps before it started. Day 1 started ok but then got migraine before i left work, along with bad mood and followed by cramps. I took painkillers in the car. I took Ashwaghanda and pheremones when i got home. The Ashwaghanda helped, made me feel stoned. And i felt better when it wore off. Sleepy. Hope day 2 goes better. Deadline tomorrow. Oh joy!!
Someone suggested making a list of the wierdest PMDD symptoms and I think it's a good idea, just so i know what to expect next month. So so far this month i've had:
Neediness
Loneliness
Road Rage/Anger
Tears
Paranoia when stressed
Restlessness - unable to pin down how i feel but unable to focus on anything
Boredom
Struggling to concentrate on work and tv
Need to write more - both in texts and blogging (i remember my emails get much longer from before the HRT)
Depression - Mild, tempered by the fact i've bought a flat which is a happy moment in my life (however the news that my mortgage had been approved cheered me up for approximately 20 mins, thats all)
Sudden starvation attacks late afternoon (even after eating - perhaps dark chocolate isn't such a good afternoon snack in the 2 days preceding my period)
Food cravings - for gherkins
Woozy feeling in brain - like a dizziness/floaty/detached sort of feeling or like the level of some neurotransmitter was increasing...is the best way i can describe it.
Withdrawal from the world - markedly less interest in going out/usual activities
Lack of motivation
Sleepiness/yawning
Insomnia - a couple of times
Higher sex drive
Mild Anxiety
Pyschological feeling of nausea (not in stomach, stronger)
Sore throat/mouth ulcers
IBS&nausea
Migraines
Knee joint pain?
I guess some of these symptoms may be being triggered by the stress of buying a flat, combined with my period being late. I've highlighted the ones that I think will be my biggest problem, most of which have returned only since stopping progesterone. I'm struck by the similarity of these particular symptoms with Borderline Personality traits. I wonder how many women with PMDD, actually have Borderline Personality Traits that just get more pronounced in the luteal phase. And i wonder if my period is putting me in touch with these feelings in an attempt to heal myself? And to heal emotional pain, is to be with that pain, and identify the thoughts that cause them, long enough to process the emotions.
The crimson tide is 4 days late and i'm starting to worry.. as my symptoms aren't very pronounced or frequent. It was suggested that it's lateness could be down to the Lunar Eclipse. I haven't read much into this but have been recommended this page:
http://www.aquariuspapers.com/
I've been craving gherkins a lot and getting sudden starvation 'attacks' the last two days. Along with fuzzy migraines which don't develop into a migraine - thats a first!! I wonder if all the dark chocolate, fat and protein i've eaten this month has helped? My mood was pretty good this week, except getting road rage twice. Unfortunately Enfield is home to many dangerous drivers, and i flipped the finger twice at a couple of impatient nobsters. Breath. Breath deeply.
Here's hoping my monthly friend arrives in the next hour before i drive into the back of someone which i've been temped to do occasionally...
Well the tiredness continues... had a migraine by the time i left work and didnt' have the energy to go swimming. Didn't sleep particularly well, although i got to sleep by 1am but felt i was awake early, but not properly awake, just half-awake for ages....not resting properly. I don't think i'm more tired than i was on the progesterone, that was worse, but my motivation to get up and do stuff isworse... So i still stayed in bed most of Sunday. I'm losing motivation/will power to do anything. I feel like my life is slipping away from me slowly, even though my mood is still positive currently because i'm buying a flat! I just feel more 'withdrawn' and distant from the world/less interested/couldn't give a fuck anymore. I also feel more needy/texts to my support 'network' are getting longer&more frequent and more paranoid...
I've become very suspicious of people, even sometimes of people i trust. I feel like bad things could happen, out of good things, i'm worrying more. I'm more scared of relationships. I feel it's a downhill, slippery slope back to PMDD hell now. I regret coming off the hormone treatment already, except for the fact that my stomach does feel a lot better. But i'm wondering if that will be worth it and if i can take another month of moving closer to depression. I'm thinking of trying the contraceptive pill Yasmin, already. But part of me wonders if it was birth control that caused these mood disruptions in the first place, upset my body's natural balance
The last week (before my period) was ok, except I kept waking up early and sort of dozing, so never felt properly rested. It was a quiet week at work so no mood swings. Except for getting quite stressed and anxious over a mortgage application question. Im very tired. I have still been feeling sick and stomach slightly upset, but i put that down to slipping up and eating wheat/stuff i shouldn't, by accident. The sickness got worse the day before i was due. Also i felt really restless/disgusted in the UK politics/paranoid and tearful, and couldn't concentrate on studies that day. But by the evening i was feeling better, however i then developed a pain in my stomach and felt really sick after dinner. The paranoia got worse the few days before my period and went from just people i didn't like, to people i care about. :( I hate this disorder and not being able to talk about it, except here and the PMDD facebook group. How do you explain to someone that your hormones make you feel persecuted for two weeks every month? Typical response it disbelief or 'it's all in your head'. I know that but the feelings still bringing me down!
I've ordered some Maca powder, which is supposed to help balance hormones, i will keep you posted.
This is my first month off the progesterone and oestrogen implants altogether. I've been on them 8 years total and they were the only treatment that really helped. Although they never got rid of my mood swings completely, they did stop me developing depression again. My stomach is feeling a lot better, so i am happy about that.
I've been really busy but been sleeping well. But still been feeling tired. Also my head feels foggy. And i am struggling to concentrate at work. But hopefully it's just because i've been so busy...
The tiredness lasted all week, and i have another week to go before my period. I couldn't study at the weekend i was so exhausted and my mood dropped, although mostly i just feel withdrawn and unmotivated. I stayed in bed all Sunday, although i couldn't sleep because took a Solpadeine for migraine, and then woke up slightly earlier than i wanted. Lets hope next week is better as i'm starting to regret coming off treatment even though i had to for my stomach's sake...
