Update after 4 years and good news.

So i left my job 3 years ago. PMDD got too much again after i came off HRT, so went back on patches for another year. Was suffering from stress and had time off work just before that.

New job is going well, boss is very nice and although i still have deadlines, I had an easier 2 years the last 2 years. I did get ill with a bacterial(or viral?) bug which gave me gastritis(?) last winter which lasted 5-6 months. I suspect bacterial as antibiotics and proboitics helped but i didnt get given antibiotics until after 2 months but the pain did start improving after that. The NHS is close to collapse, thanks to Tory CUT's, so i didn't get much useful information out of my doctors and never found out the cause.

I would say my PMDD started improving from a year ago last October after i got ill (but I don't think the improvement it was related to the illness). I started having a heaped tsp of (gelatinised) Maca in banana and almond milk smoothie in the morning with hazelnuts (made in my Nutribullet). I also took VSL#3 probiotics for 6 months which are strong probiotics prescribed for colitis. Also soya yhogurt with fruit/marmalade.

Maca is known for it's hormone balancing properties and i haven't stopped taking it since. I may have a break next year just to see if the PMDD comes back.  Raw Maca apparently can provoke thyroid issues, so i switched to gelatanised after reading that. It's also a good caffeine/energy substitute and i have been able to take less caffeine since starting my smoothies although i still need a bit. Caffeine gives me migraines... The only side effect i've noticed is i might be slightly more anxious rather than depressed but only around ovulation and period time. This may just be because i came off HRT though.

The only other changes i've made to my life besides less stress at work / no more bullying boss are:
1) Gardening in the summer weekly.
2) Got my vitamin d levels up (and that is thought to help PMS)
3) Still taking a magnesium oil supplement at night (which mostly prevents insomnia as its a sedative).
4) I also take more codeine (Solpadeine) as my migraines have become chronic and daily, due to A14 widening project which has left me sleep deprived for 2 years.
5) Still taking probiotics (Alflorex, OptiBac (tried) and Bimuno sometimes) and making my own Kefir.
6) Still take multivitamins on and off but not consistently, nor very high doses.
7) Possibly eating a higher fat/ higher cheese diet also helped? Dr Panay did try a vit d and high calcium diet on women with PMDD.

I did have a slightly higher FSH level on one blood test but back to normal now (meaning possible early menopause) but that was within a year of coming off HRT and NICE guidelines say not to have the test then, although Dr Panay thought it would be fine. So not sure what that means.

I wouldn't say my PMDD has gone completely as i still suffer from fatigue and migraine which follows a hormonal pattern and i get a bit of anxiety around ovulation/period time. But apart from the odd mood swing from interacting with people on facebook, i barely notice my PMDD anymore. I put it down to the Maca but will keep you posted when i experiment coming off it..

It's been a good month!!!

It might just be a coincidence/random good month but here's what i've done differently: 

Vitamins daily:
Healthspan CoEnzyme Q10 (migraine)
Holland and Barret Vitamin B6
Solgar Vit D3 Gel Capsules
Cytoplan Magnesium Biofood and Citrate (Citrate with dinner, Biofood with lunch and breakfast, citrate if for sleep)

Indigo Herbs of Glastonbury Agnus Castus tincture:
15 drops with breakfast & lunch in warm water with slice of lemon. 

Breakfast: fruit smoothies with almond milk

L-glutamine for stomach and finished my food intolerance diet. Still making the odd mistake with foods i can't have though!

Linseed, Chia seeds most days with meals. And fish (tinner mackarel or salmon) almost daily. These are low mercury fish. 

PMS symptoms have been minimal and mostly physical symptoms - insomnia(may be heat tho), appetite huge, a little fatigue and brain fog. One migraine&associated gastro symptoms, although all symptoms disappeared when i finished my agnus castus drink!!!  And only the stomach symptoms returned later when i was hanging my washing at 9.30. Went when i sat down and ate some crackers and cheese.

Will keep you posted if this is coincidence as i've had some terrible months lately and was close to taking antidepressants, and have barely had any focus or interest in activities as everything is overwhelming. Still had a bit of that fatigue/lack of motivation this month but not all the time. It's day 27 and I usually start on day 28 now. 

Shitty month

After a great month after my holidays and a quiet period at work, where i had hardly any PMDD symptoms. I then had a really really shitty month - a week of anxiety, followed by a week of mood swings and tearfulness, starting every morning at work (only for 4 days though). This last week has been a bit better though. I've been taking tryptophan when needed, although it interferes with sleep if i take it in the evening, and so iv'e switched to a small dose - 250mg max! 

I also had my blood test results back and they indicated Stage 1 - 2 CKD - chronic kidney disease. :( This panicked me quite a bit as it's not treatable. I'm going to have the test done the same time as last month, to check it's not a PMDD anomoly.

I think the food intolerance diet is working now but i can't do the reintroducton yet as keep eating foods by mistake. Hopefully this week though as i can't bear it any longer... and it will take 2 months to reintroduce all the foods. I'm thinking progesterone does cause me to bloat but some foods may aggravate it. I suspect onion or garlic but i'm really hoping not. Even if it's just one of them, that will rule out 99% of what i can buy in the supermarket. :( Which i wont cope with.

I've decided to get a dishwasher in January as i dont have enough time to wash up so much. I create a lot as i'm always cooking. 

Quick Update

I saw the dietician again. We both agreed the FODMAP diet hasn't worked particularly well. Although i decided the week before that magnesium citrate might be having a laxative effect. So i've ordered a different type of magnesium - magnesium glycinate which is better on the stomach and also some more Better You magnesium oil to rub on my skin. Unfortunately the brand i ordered, didn't seem to help me sleep - i'm not convinced it has magnesium in it as it isn't chalky when i run it under the tap. The Solgar magnesium would get stuck to my skin. So i've sent that one back and found a few good vitamin companies:
metabolics
terranova
together

Went on a course with work and colleagues were ok with me. But i'm finding work relationships much much harder off the HRT and i also made a mistake on Friday, i think because of tiredness. I need to get proper blackout for my bedroom so i can sleep as i have achieved very little in the last 8 months. Hopefully my friend will help me sort this out tomorrow. 

I've decided to start a month long diary also, to describe my feelings and symptoms in detail on each day and see how it compares each month, whether each symptom follows an exact pattern? Then maybe i will try to correlate it with temperature which sort of follows progesterone... I'm about to come on so i will start today...

Yay there's hope!!!

Finally they are starting to take women's hormonal challenges seriously!!!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2708901/Revealed-The-hormone-gel-banish-depression-women-Its-revolutionary-discovery-lives-countless-women-currently-given-antidepressants-transformed-using-simple-rub-gel-instead.html

"To investigate why this is happening and what is the best treatment, Dr Michael Craig, a psychiatrist, has opened the first female hormone clinic at the Maudsley, a psychiatric hospital in South London and the largest mental health training institution in the UK.  "

Day 8 and Calm!

Still a bit stressed/anxious today but finding it much easier to rise above the work issues. Definately calmness has returned. And i got through another month without killing anyone ;-) 

Just realised i only had 3 bad migraines last month, 2 of which were during my period. The other was day 24, a few days after ovulation. So seems my migraines have returned to menstrual migraine, rather than chronic migraine (16 a month!). This happened when i stopped taking nurofen. But also could be because i came off HRT. However that was 2 years ago, and the timing coincided with me deciding to swap Nurofen for triptans, as my only treatment! Hmmm i am starting to agree with the camp who believe medication does more harm than good! In my case, it seems to have done the exact opposite of what i wanted - caused my migraines!!!

Still sleeping well on magensium citrate during my luteal phase. But my new flat is both noisy and bright which interferes with sleep during follicular. My sleep pattern follows progesterone levels exactly, when progesterone is low, i can't fall asleep easily and i wake up early. If i wasn't sensitive to my hormones before, i definately am now!! 

Stomach issues were insane over my period. Had heartburn at 1am one night and couldn't sleep. And following night stomach cramps all evening. And pretty much had stomach cramps for the next 3 days. I'm hoping they calm down now period is finished... 

As for the next month. I hope i can resolve my issues with my work colleagues. But find it hard to trust people again, once i've had PMDD rage at them! It's certainly true that PMDD damages relationships. And after my moods this month, i'm considering low dose Prozac again! :(

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Worst PMDD month so far. First argued with colleagues. Then following week couldn't stop crying for 4 days. For NO reason. Started feeling a little bored/unsettled Sunday night, after my parents left. Then this turned into slight tears, when trying to go to sleep. Spent the next 4 days crying. Through training sessions at work and pub lunch with the whole office today, outside in the sunshine! I've just come on, at 9.30pm. Want this shit to stop. Definately didn't feel this bad on HRT. Feel sooo depressed :(

Feeling a bit better but completely gone off pharmaceuticals!!

I've had more success lately by being pro-active in finding ways to help myself, GP's have never been any use at all. Apart from to direct me to the AllergyUK website which was helpful for my ailments. I've pretty much had enough of Western 'medicines'. Except for HRT, well the oestrogen part of it, the progesterone never did me any good. And the specialists know that progesterone is bad for women with PMDD :(

Insomnia: sleep much better on magnesium citrate - had it for over 8 years. Cured for the last 2 years on magnesium citrate 400mg. Although lately, i still struggle to sleep during follicular phase of cycle, esp if work stress.

Migraine: I haven't had a migraine at all this month! These got better when i stopped taking nurofen. I think it was giving me migraines!! I also came off HRT, however it was when i stopped taking nurofen that the migraines gradually disappeared. I'm on day 18 and still haven't had one this month! Although may get one during my period.

PMDD: moods are a lot better, I'm happier since moving into my own place. The fatigue is a massive problem - i can't motivate myself to do any of the hobbies i used to do on HRT. And the insomnia when progesterone is low often drives me insane as i feel like shit for a couple of weeks if i dont sleep. Have to remember to take 600mg magnesium at this time but I am forgetful when i'm tired!

IBS: FOODMAP diet - apparently cures 80% of IBS sufferers who try the diet. Discovered on allergyUK website. Fairly complicated/restrictive though and giving me headache trying to find foods i can actually eat on a vegetarian diet. Would be much easier if i was a meat eater. I do eat a little meat now but i don't want to eat it more than twice a week.

Allergies - dustmite allergy seems a little better. I've been adding tea tree oil on cotton pads to my clothes drawers. And washing sheets every fortnight. And also windows open all the time in my flat. And damp dust once a week. Does seem to help.

Day 37 and no sign of period

But this month is going well. My migraines are a lot better, reduced in frequency anyway. I only get 4-5 a month now. And take 25mg sumatriptan which works better than Nurofen ever did. I seem to have reduced stress in my life effectively - no stressful friends anymore, and have put my manager back in his box and he appears to be being consistently nice to me now :D Havent been exercising enough lately though, and have developed joint stiffness&pain in my knees and occasionally feet and arms. Doc is testing me for ANA (autoimmune diseases :( ).

PMDD also seems easier this month but perhaps thats coz not near period yet... coming off HRT/progesterone has made them irregular.

Told my gp that I had had a mineral test and he looked at the results at least but didn´t think magnesium was important because NHS/gp surgery doesnt test for it. But he did seem interested when i told him about the supplements. He was nice but wasnt that helpful overall tho on why i would be deficient in magnesium.

I did find this though:

Magnesium deficiency is frequently observed in conditions causing steatorrhoea or severe chronic diarrhoea such as Crohn's disease, ulcerative colitis, coeliac disease, Whipple's disease and short bowel syndrome.³⁶ In general, the degree of magnesium depletion correlates with the severity of diarrhoea, stool fat content and faecal magnesium concentration. The malabsorption of magnesium is secondary to the formation of insoluble magnesium soaps, and a low-fat diet improves magnesium balance in these patients.

I also spent some time googling as i keep almost vomiting at times. This could be gastroperasis - caused by hormones, migraines or Gilberts syndrome. So ive ordered SAMe and Milk Thistle to see if this helps and also going to reduce meal size and eat 6 meals a day.

Better month so far...

Worked late a bit this month. Then had 5 days off to decorate livingroom. Had parents staying for ten days just before i was due on. Actually went ok. Made some more Power Maca balls and started taking Vit D, B6 and B complex again. Must have helped because haven't many mood symptoms. Still tired tho... Not sure period has started properly tho.. so perhaps it's just delayed again :(

Magnesium deficiency

So after finding out my iron levels were still low, i asked GP if they could check my other nutrient levels, since i'm on a restricted diet - gluten free and mostly meat-free. My GP refused, of course, telling me i was worrying for nothing and  a lot of women are iron-deficient. I told them i would have the tests done privately, and did. My GP actually suggested having the tests done privately but when i agreed, he replied 'Well what will you do if you are low on something?'. This made me furious, since it's fairly obvious that if you have a deficiency in something, you should take supplements. Der Makes me wonder where he got his medical degree!! Anyway i had the test done, for 6 minerals: calcium, selenium, chromium, copper, magnesium and manganese. All were fine except magnesium which is very important for the nervous system. It didn't suprised me, although i have been taking magnesium citrate 400mg for 2 years for insomnia which has helped, so i wonder how low it would have dropped without the supplement. Not looking forward to seeing my GP again as i know he will question the tests, since he didn't do them himself. I think i will probably make a complaint against the surgery if this happens.

Grrrrrrrr

After 1 week of migraines, followed by 1 week of bad IBS. My PMDD has finally kicked in, so i have two weeks of that to look forward to before my bleed. If i even bleed on time this month.I'm slightly annoyed my GP surgery keep trying to put me onto Beconase, still. I will not destroy my health to save the NHS 25 pounds. They can change the system so that i can make a donation to cover the costs. Private health care in this country sucks and they charge twenty times the price the NHS would charge. Privatising health care is pretty much the worst mistake any country could every make. In America, they charge you 40 quid for one aspirin at the hospital!

Apart from that, everything is going well tho. My manager has stopped bullying me for the time being and i love my new flat. It's just a shame that myself and thousands of other women will carry on struggling with this disorder, their entire lives, most of them barely holding down jobs because of it. But PMDD will continue to be ignored by pharmaceutical companies, because they are run by men! And lets face it, we still live in an extremely sexist society, despite great leaps.

I've had 1 symptom free day this month from physical symptoms. I'm fairly sure that my migraines are oestrogen-withdrawal migraines now, i didn't make the connection before because menstrual migraine is supposed to occur on two days before your period. But oestrogen is low for first ten days of cycle which coincides with when i get the migraines and also mid-cycle. And I think i'm intolerant to all grains now, mostly during the last part of my cycle. I'm going to keep charting using OvuView App which is brilliant and helped me spot the pattern very easily.

I've been taking red clover extract and Maca powder this month. The Maca may be helping as my mood has been ok for the last week since i started it. Will see.

I'm getting slightly sick of health 'professionals' suggesting that this condition is stress related as i'm not stressed right now, work is very easy, and my IBS and migraines are at their worst. Explain that please?? Doctors just make people angry which makes their problems worse. I'm avoiding my surgery now (even tho i need to discuss my symptoms) to avoid feeling upset.

Allopregnanolone

This article suggest a low dose of Prozac, only 2mg, can treat PMDD by increasing allopregnanolone levels. 
http://www.abc.net.au/catalyst/stories/3251902.htm

I did notice the biggest increase in mood swings/snappiness/aggression when i stopped taking the progesterone pessaries, a year after i stopped the oestrogen implant. So i think both oestrogen and progesterone, together, helped my PMDD. Oestrogen increases serotonin, leading to less depression. And progesterone is calming (it gets converted to allopregnanolone), leading to less violent mood swings. Progesterone is a tricky hormone for women to take tho, as it often has side-effects. Even tho it was natural progesterone i was taking, the delivery to the body is unnatural, as it's a big dose at once, in one area of the body (pessaries in my case). I did get irritable when i started taking progesterone but the sedating effect also calmed me and the irritability usually went away after a few days. I think it helped dampen my migraines too.

Another shitty month!

Can really notice the difference now, being off the oestrogen implant :( Finding it so hard to concentrate for the entire 3 weeks of luteal phase, both on personal life and work. End up surfing the net instead of watching&relaxing tv in evenings, then realise it's ten pm and i've been faffing all evening and still feel wired. Feel angry that i'm going out, if have plans during the week because it feels so exhausting. Feel angry at wk colleagues all the time and cant really contain it when it gets to a week before period onwards :( Had massive fight with my manager and was anxious and tearful for a week afterwards. And my migraines have been horrendous. Had one every day for 3 weeks... then a 2 week gap, then yesterday (day 2) and today had a really awful one that made me almost throw up and hot and cold and weak and sick throughout body at times :( Have also gone home coz of migraines 3x in the last month or two and am a bit worried as my manager is probably monitoring everything i do since he keeps asking me what i'm doing everyday. So it's come at the worst time... I have had the extra stress of buying a flat to contend with but i think this is probably not the whole story :( The fight with manager didn't help either. So now i'm probably going to lose my job, as i find it hard to get focussed on anything.

I'm not sure if the testosterone implant caused the migraines, as they started the same month. They seem to be worst during period and in the luteal phase tho, but not in luteal phase which is weird. My cycle is messed up too, i used to have a 5 week cycle but now it's gone to 6.5 weeks and 6 weeks. That might be because oestrogen is still in my system and affecting the lining of my womb, i need to have a scan in January. 

Not a great month

This month has been pretty awful (only the first one off progesterone). My period being a week and a half late didn't help. Even having an easy month at work didn't help, so i don't think stress is always a factor.

I have been pro-active and found some very good papers since i last researched PMS, ten years ago. These are definately worth reading:

The below link is a large study and well setup by sounds of it. It found that total oestrogen is the same between PMDD patients and controls but free E2 (oestrodiol) and %free E2 were lower and SHBG higher in PMDD subjects. This makes sense given oestrogen helps mood and oestrogen therapy successfully treated my PMDD for ten years.
http://jcem.endojournals.org/content/93/1/96.full

http://www.ion.ac.uk/information/onarchives/pmsscience

http://books.google.co.uk/books?id=00JbUu4lLsgC&pg=PA298&lpg=PA299&ots=nhLtAO3JF-&dq=serotonin+and+allopregnanolone&output=html_text

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3098121/?report=classic 

Magnesium is still successfully treating my insomnia. It still takes an hour to get to sleep if i go to bed too late but if i got to bed when sleepy/just after taking it, i tend to drop off quickly. I also sleep more deeply on it :)

Day 2

Started ok again and now it's evening i'm really f'ing depressed.... :( Don't know how to get rid of this feeling...I managed to drag myself out of bed, by making waffles and cheese which helped. Emptied washing machine and had a shower and then went to bed...

Finally...!!!

Period was a week and a half late, guess body was adjusting to being off hormones. Started getting moody week before. Had 4 days of cramps before it started. Day 1 started ok but then got migraine before i left work, along with bad mood and followed by cramps. I took painkillers in the car. I took Ashwaghanda and pheremones when i got home. The Ashwaghanda helped, made me feel stoned. And i felt better when it wore off. Sleepy. Hope day 2 goes better. Deadline tomorrow. Oh joy!!

Symptoms

Someone suggested making a list of the wierdest PMDD symptoms and I think it's a good idea, just so i know what to expect next month. So so far this month i've had:

Neediness
Loneliness
Road Rage/Anger
Tears
Paranoia when stressed
Restlessness - unable to pin down how i feel but unable to focus on anything
Boredom
Struggling to concentrate on work and tv
Need to write more  - both in texts and blogging (i remember my emails get much longer from before the HRT)
Depression - Mild, tempered by the fact i've bought a flat which is a happy moment in my life (however the news that my mortgage had been approved cheered me up for approximately 20 mins, thats all)
Sudden starvation attacks late afternoon (even after eating - perhaps dark chocolate isn't such a good afternoon snack in the 2 days preceding my period)
Food cravings - for gherkins
Woozy feeling in brain - like a dizziness/floaty/detached sort of feeling or like the level of some neurotransmitter was increasing...is the best way i can describe it.
Withdrawal from the world - markedly less interest in going out/usual activities
Lack of motivation
Sleepiness/yawning
Insomnia - a couple of times
Higher sex drive
Mild Anxiety
Pyschological feeling of nausea (not in stomach, stronger)
Sore throat/mouth ulcers
IBS&nausea
Migraines
Knee joint pain?

I guess some of these symptoms may be being triggered by the stress of buying a flat, combined with my period being late. I've highlighted the ones that I think will be my biggest problem, most of which have returned only since stopping progesterone. I'm struck by the similarity of these particular symptoms with Borderline Personality traits. I wonder how many women with PMDD, actually have Borderline Personality Traits that just get more pronounced in the luteal phase. And i wonder if my period is putting me in touch with these feelings in an attempt to heal myself? And to heal emotional pain, is to be with that pain, and identify the thoughts that cause them, long enough to process the emotions.

Confessions of a Lunatic

The crimson tide is 4 days late and i'm starting to worry..  as my symptoms aren't very pronounced or frequent. It was suggested that it's lateness could be down to the Lunar Eclipse. I haven't read much into this but have been recommended this page:
http://www.aquariuspapers.com/

I've been craving gherkins a lot and getting sudden starvation 'attacks' the last two days. Along with fuzzy migraines which don't develop into a migraine - thats a first!! I wonder if all the dark chocolate, fat and protein i've eaten this month has helped? My mood was pretty good this week, except getting road rage twice. Unfortunately Enfield is home to many dangerous drivers, and i flipped the finger twice at a couple of impatient nobsters. Breath. Breath deeply.

Here's hoping my monthly friend arrives in the next hour before i drive into the back of someone which i've been temped to do occasionally...

Slowly rolling towards the edge of an abyss..... ? (first month off HRT)

Well the tiredness continues... had a migraine by the time i left work and didnt' have the energy to go swimming. Didn't sleep particularly well, although i got to sleep by 1am but felt i was awake early, but not properly awake, just half-awake for ages....not resting properly. I don't think i'm more tired than i was on the progesterone, that was worse, but my motivation to get up and do stuff isworse... So i still stayed in bed most of Sunday. I'm losing motivation/will power to do anything. I feel like my life is slipping away from me slowly, even though my mood is still positive currently because i'm buying a flat! I just feel more 'withdrawn' and distant from the world/less interested/couldn't give a fuck anymore. I also feel more needy/texts to my support 'network' are getting longer&more frequent and more paranoid... 

I've become very suspicious of people, even sometimes of people i trust. I feel like bad things could happen, out of good things, i'm worrying more. I'm more scared of relationships. I feel it's a downhill, slippery slope back to PMDD hell now. I regret coming off the hormone treatment already, except for the fact that my stomach does feel a lot better. But i'm wondering if that will be worth it and if i can take another month of moving closer to depression. I'm thinking of trying the contraceptive pill Yasmin, already. But part of me wonders if it was birth control that caused these mood disruptions in the first place, upset my body's natural balance

The last week (before my period) was ok, except I kept waking up early and sort of dozing, so never felt properly rested. It was a quiet week at work so no mood swings. Except for getting quite stressed and anxious over a mortgage application question. Im very tired. I have still been feeling sick and stomach slightly upset, but i put that down to slipping up and eating wheat/stuff i shouldn't, by accident. The sickness got worse the day before i was due. Also i felt really restless/disgusted in the UK politics/paranoid and tearful, and couldn't concentrate on studies that day. But by the evening i was feeling better, however i then developed a pain in my stomach and felt really sick after dinner. The paranoia got worse the few days before my period and went from just people i didn't like, to people i care about. :( I hate this disorder and not being able to talk about it, except here and the PMDD facebook group. How do you explain to someone that your hormones make you feel persecuted for two weeks every month? Typical response it disbelief or 'it's all in your head'. I know that but the feelings still bringing me down!

I've ordered some Maca powder, which is supposed to help balance hormones, i will keep you posted.